Word of Salvation – Vol.44 No.2 - January 1999

 

Abused?  You Can Survive!

 

Sermon by Rev D. Groenenboom on Psalm 10

Scripture Readings: Psalm 10; Luke 4:14-21 (Psalm 73; Mark 5:1-20)

Suggested Hymns:

BoW: 386; 383; 20; 424; 57A; Rej: 500

 

[Author’s Note:  It is quite obvious that this Psalm does not mention the matter of Abuse per se, but given its frequent reference to violence perpetrated by one person on another, its application to Abuse is clear.]

Brothers and sisters in Christ.

1.  The Reality of Abuse

There is little doubt that one of the most painful issues people deal with today is abuse.  We hear regular stories: A young boy in Queensland kept captive by grandparents; a school teacher under suspicion in Northern Tasmania; an ex-church leader extradited to Tasmania to answer allegations.

The incidence of abuse should concern us greatly.  But there is a form of abuse which we are becoming more conscious about: abuse in the Christian home.  Husbands who physically abuse their wives to maintain their control and domination.  Wives who emotionally abuse and manipulate their husbands.  Daughters who are sexually abused by their fathers, brothers, mothers or other members of the family.  Boys abused by family friends or relatives.

It would be good to think that the Christian church is immune to the ravages of abuse.  The sad reality is that abuse is just as common in the Christian church as in society in general.  There are few who have not in some way been affected – directly, indirectly, as a survivor, as an abuser, as a friend of someone who has been scarred with its pain.

Question: What should we do?  How should we react?

I was speaking to someone once (not someone from this congregation) and they were telling me that they, too, had been abused as a child.  They told me about one time they wanted to talk about it in their wider family and find some support there.  One of the people they ended up speaking to responded, "Ah, all that abuse stuff is all garbage.  It’s all made up by immature people seeking attention.”  You can imagine how this person felt.

Well, what would you say?  What does the Bible say?  What does God say? Psalm 10 tells us that even though abuse is real in our world, and while it may be an agonising secret for many, it is no secret to the Lord.

He sees what no one else sees.  He hears what no one else can hear.  He feels what no one else can feel.  He knows the realities that others might not want to know.

That's why the Psalmist prays in Psalm 10:1 "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”  And in verse 12, "Arise, LORD!  Lift up your hand, O God.  Do not forget the helpless.”

It's not that the psalmist thinks God has forgotten the helpless, it's more that he knows he won't!  To this psalmist, the fact that the Lord is not blind to violence and abuse makes all the difference.  Verse 14, "But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless."

God has not forgotten.  God has not ignored the pleas of his broken people.  He sees their trouble.  He feels their grief.  He takes it into his hands.

I guess many of you are here today because you are concerned about abuse.  Some of you wonder how you can help the church be a safe place.  Others are victims.  Maybe recently, or in the past.  lf that is where you are today, the word of God says, "despite all the fear and insecurity you are feeling, there is at least one place where you will be safe.  There is one place you will be accepted.  There is one place where the pain of the past can begin to subside.  There is a place of healing."

And it is in relationship with the Lord.  lf there is one thing you need to know, it is this: God is there for you – He will not tum His back.  He sees your trouble.  He knows your grief.  He will arise and defend all those whose trust has been abused, whose childhood has been shattered, whose lives have been maimed, broken, scarred.

The implication here should not be missed: when you seek to do the same, you are like God, you are imitating God, and you begin to reveal something of the wholeness He longs to bring to this world.

For most, maybe all, that is not enough.  Knowing that God will call their abusers to account, certainly in eternity, and hopefully in the here and now, does not take away lost happiness, laughter and the colour of childhood.  They want to know where God was when all that stuff was going down.

A Story:

Tammi was a young girl of nine years old when Grandpa started abusing her.  He was much liked in the family.  He was an elder in the church.  Many looked up to him.  But when Grandpa looked at Tammi her heart was struck with fear.

Years later, the power of the secret was broken, but Tammi was plagued with a painful question, which she posed to her counsellor: "Where was God when Grandpa was 'doing that' to me in the closet?  When I was screaming inside with fear and pain, and petrified into submission on the outside, where was God then?  Where was His justice then?"  After a long silence, her carer replied, "I believe God was in the closet screaming silently in protest with you."  "But couldn't God have stopped him?  Why wouldn't God stop him?”  "l don’t know,” Replied the counsellor, “I suppose God could have.  But I can't really explain why God doesn't stop that kind of evil.  What I know is that God suffers... I think God's Spirit was praying for you when you were too weak or frightened, or too confused to pray."

Tammi's head was bowed.  She looked puzzled.  She struggled with how God could be powerful and good, and yet she had seen such terror.  Then she said, "Maybe it would have been a thousand times worse if God hadn't been there.  I hate to think of what it would have been like, but maybe it was God who helped me survive."

(Taken from God Enters Dark Closets,
in "Abuse Among Christians”, Perspectives
September 1992, pp 16-17)

Remember what we read here:

Psalm 10:17-18 – “You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed "

Psalm 10:14 – “You, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless."

He will break the power of wickedness and the evil man, and call him to account for his wickedness that would not be found out (vs.15).

You may ask: How can the Lord really know, at least in a way that makes any difference?  Our answer is found in Jesus Christ.  He was abused when he walked this earth, and because He was subject to the ultimate abuse on the Cross,

Isaiah 53:7 – “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent so he did not open his mouth."

Isaiah 53:10 – “Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer."

Jesus knows the pain of abuse is real.  lf you are a survivor of dark secrets, you, too, can find hope in the Lord who has cried your tears and felt your pain.  For the victim, for all the survivors, there is great comfort.  The ruler of the earth is their friend.  At last there is a Father who can be trusted because of the Son who was abused.

2.  And for those who are abusers...

But there is another theme in this Psalm which we need to see.  God does not only see the reality of abuse, and feel the pain of those who endure it and perhaps survive it.  He also sees the reality of the abuser.

This is important, for we tend to see justice as something only for the here and now.  lf we do not see justice in the here and now, we tend to think that it does not exist.

The Word says to us: that is not so.  For those who endure abuse have the Lord as their defender, as their fortress and their tower (Psalm 18:1-2).

This Psalm says that abusers, while perhaps appearing strong, are devious, and that they are a picture of cowardice.  They hunt down the weak who are caught in their schemes.  They lie in wait near the villages; from ambush they murder the innocent.  They watch in secret for their victims; like a lion they wait for the helpless, they drag them off in their net.

Abusers are arrogant.

They are often people with a powerful presence.  They boast of the cravings of their hearts.  Their ways seem always prosperous.  They sneer at their enemies.  They say of themselves "nothing will shake me!  I'll always be happy, and never have trouble."  Meanwhile, their victims are crushed, they collapse; they fall under their strength.

Abusers have no moral conscience.

Their deeds have seared their ability to discern the proper boundaries or right conduct.  Their own lusts and cravings have blinded them to the heaviness and severity of what they have done and what they are doing – to the damage they are doing to another image bearer, let alone someone of their own family.  God's laws are far from them (vs.5).

Abusers quench and douse the activity of the Spirit.

God continually calls them away from their damaging acts, but they block their ears.  ln their thoughts there is no room for God (vs.4).

The Body of Christ has been abused, but those who continue in their evil acts, and who refuse to acknowledge them, repent of them, and flee from them, must understand that they set themselves directly against the Lord of heaven and earth.   This psalm makes it clear that if God ever sides with anyone, He sides with the victim.

It has happened that reports of abuse have often been dismissed and ignored even by church leaders who knew, but did not want to know.  Abuse is an ugly and heinous reality.  It is despicable, and we should despise it.  But we should also be aware that within every abuser there is also a profound and utter brokenness which has led to the distortion of their character and behaviour.  Christians everywhere should be seeking to rehabilitate those who have brought violence and pain to others.

The immediate need is for the church to wear its colours.  Churches must say loudly and clearly that those who perpetrate abuse and do not repent have no place in the Christian community.  lf there was ever to be a safe house, it should be the people of God.  Children should know church leaders as trusted people, who they can talk to when things are not right, and know that like the Lord whose name they bear, those leaders will consider it and take it in hand.

Brothers and sisters, I don't know what steps you are taking to do this, but one thing is sure – the defenceless, the children, the women of this congregation need to know they will be safe, and you need to communicate that.

(Support groups, posters, workshops.)

You need to express regularly solidarity with the abused so they will know that you will help them survive.

Say it loudly.  Say it clearly.  Abuse will not be tolerated or excused.  When you act quickly to end abuse and keep the defenceless safe, you are like God.  You are Christlike.

3.  ln Conclusion

No matter where you are on this issue, remember Jesus Christ.  Gospel writer Luke reminds us, "The spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind; to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour.” (Luke 4:18-19).  Jesus said this right at the beginning of His ministry to tell us the nature of His Kingdom and His work.

If you have been carrying a burden of abuse, you need to know that Jesus Christ has come to free you from your prison.  Maybe no one else knows: but Jesus Christ knows.  He is your helper.  He has seen your trouble and grief.  He will bring you justice.

His grace and strength will give you what you need to survive this terrible ordeal you have been through.  You are safe with Him.  There are people in His family who can help you.  Commit yourself to Him, and have Him break the power of abuse.

Perhaps there are even people here who have been abusers – who have lived in a different prison: walls of guilt, loneliness and degradation.  You need the cleansing that comes through Christ Jesus.  You need to come clean with your sin.  Do not let this wickedness hold you any longer, call to Jesus for freedom.

The New Testament has an account of a man who lived among tombs.  Plagued by demons, night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones (Mark 5:5).  This is the terror of the abuser.  How much they need the healing grace of the Lord to invade their lives and free them from their own oppression.

Only this grace of God in Christ can bring us hope.  Only in Christ will we find justice and strength.  There is hope.  The Lord is with you.

Amen.