A Presbyterian friend and colleague once told a story that was funny, although it was horrible theology and quite contrary to the Bible’s teachings.

A middle-aged woman died suddenly and unexpectedly.  She ends up (of course!) at the Pearly Gates where she finds Saint Peter in charge of admissions.  The lady says to him, “So, what do I need to do to get in here?”  “That’s easy,” says Peter, “all you have to do is spell the word ‘love’!”  So she spells ‘love’ and is promptly admitted.  Sometime later she happens to be passing the Pearly Gates when Peter calls her over.  “I’ve got to see the Archangel Gabriel a moment.  Would you mind attending the gates for me until I return?  You do still remember the terms of admission, don’t you?”  She tells him that people just need to spell the word ‘love’.  So Peter leaves her to attend to admissions in his absence.  She hasn’t been there very long when who should turn up at the gates but her husband.  “What are you doing here?” she asks him.  He explains: “A few weeks after you died I married your best friend, Margaret.  We cashed in your life-insurance policy and bought a lovely home with water frontage at the Gold Coast.  We also bought a speedboat.  Today we were water skiing and I had an accident and died.  So here I am.  So, what do I need to do to get into this place?”  “Oh, that’s easy,” she replied, “all you have to do is spell Czechoslovakia.”

Those of us who understand the gospel, cringe, even while we smile.  What a horrible misrepresentation of the way of salvation.  But is this not just so typical of the general understanding of thousands of Aussies who believe in an after-life?  The average Aussie is convinced that we’re admitted to heaven on the basis of what we do.  It can be as simple as spelling the word ‘love’ or as difficult as spelling the word ‘Czechoslovakia’ – or the even more difficult way of making sure that our good deeds, on one side of the ledger, outweigh our faults and sins on the other side of the ledger.  This story is a total denial of what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesian Church: “For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works...!”  It is also a total denial of what Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the light, no one comes to the Father but through me.”

It was the death of Rock-Singer, Tina Turner, that led me to think of my friend’s ‘Czechoslovakia Story’.  Some days after she died someone posted a cartoon on social media in her honour.  It was a picture of Tina Turner – complete with airline carry-on-bag – entering in through what were supposedly the Pearly Gates.  Just inside the gates Saint Peter was conducting a heavenly choir.  Seeing Tina Turner entering, he announces to the choir, “Okay, you’re all now officially back-up singers.”

Please – let me be very clear: I am glad I don’t have to decide who gets to go to heaven and who doesn’t.  But there is something very questionable about that cartoon – and I’m not talking about Tina Turner’s airline carry-on-bag.  Nor am I thinking of Saint Peter giving the heavenly choir the flick in favour of the Rock Star.  No!  I’m thinking of the fact that although Tina Turner sang in a Baptist Church Choir in her earlier life, she later converted to Buddhism and allegedly lived out her Buddhist beliefs for the rest of her life.

Again, let me stress that God, and God alone, decides on the eternal destiny of every human being.  But the common mistake of so many people today is to think that everyone goes to heaven after we die – well, unless your name is Nero, or Adolph Hitler, or Jack the Ripper!  We may not push aside the words of Jesus: “No one comes to the Father but through me.”  That means we are left with some serious questions about the destiny of those who turn their back on Jesus so as to embrace some other religious outlook.

Oh, and one more thing: for Buddhists, the transcendent state they call Nirvana and that ends karma and the cycle of death and rebirth, is a far cry from the renewed creation that Jesus ushers in at His return.

John Westendorp